Later in life

My live sculpture went very well. I was a live Christmas tree. I wore a green dress and green shoes and stood in a tree stand, while my friend painted me green, strung lights and decorations around me and hung ornaments in my hair. I held myself in that position for about 45 minutes, I could have gone longer but I didn't want to miss the other acts going on. The event was actually quite fun. There was a good turn out but there were more performers than non-performers so it wound up feeling like this event just for us.

I danced, I got to be in a fashion show (my first), I ate a shit-load of sweet potatoes, and I walked around with sick sticky green paint on my body for a while (I still gave out hugs anyway). So YES!! Too bad it was negative three that night.

Anyway, the holidays are troubling me. Only because I get to see all of my family and eat good food, and laugh, and work, and get good sleep and then it all ends and my sister has to go away again and then I get sad. Her flight left at about 6 this morning...

I've been productive. I've been embroidering, crocheting, sewing, writing, and reading like mad. Partly because of my portfolio and the other part because I'm behind on Christmas presents...sorry dudes, you know who you are. I haven't forgotten, I just suck.

I've been on this website religiously for the past three weeks:

http://www.etsy.com/index.php

I've also been reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. She's a book and paper artist based out of Chicago. She graduated from SAIC and now teaches at Columbia. Some of her work:

From The Three Incestuous Sisters (one of my favorite books)

Also from The Three Incestuous Sisters

...my mother almost named me Madison

Almost there...

It's about 2 o'clock in the morning and I'm still working out the details of my live sculpture. I'm thinking that it will end up being more along the lines of an actual, proper performance. I'm nervous. It doesn't help that I went back to Redmoon earlier and most of the folks there kept telling me that they couldn't wait to see what I come up with. Eeeep.

What has helped me is this artist named Bea Camacho. She does these wonderful crocheted and knitted sculptural pieces that are about isolation, concealment and self-preservation. She did this 11 hour durational piece called Enclose, in which she crocheted a huge cocoon for herself out of red yarn.

Bea Camacho, Extensions

Bea Camacho, Enclose

I am really tired. I'm going to take a short nap and then get back to work. I learned a lot this semester but obviously not how to manage time.

Inconvenient

I'm performing at my friend's event this Sunday. It's called The Hibernation Celebration and it's a benefit for her theater company, The Inconvenience. There's going to be bands playing, live paintings, solo puppeteers, and a live sculpture from me. I'm putting all of this unnecessary pressure on myself...but I shouldn't be. I just want to have fun.

Speaking of pressure, I haven't done any of my holiday shopping yet. Yikes. I'm also a little behind on all of the gifts I'm making. I miss my sister. I miss California. I have bad cramps.

I hate getting myself so angry about things. Especially if there's nothing I can do about it immediatley. I had all of these plans to do constructive things when I got home but all I can do right now is sit and stew over this. I really want to believe that people are generally good but it's moments like this that make me lose faith in people.

It was fucking cold outside today.

ok...things that make me happy...

How I felt today:

FFIIINNAAALLLSSS

It's been a rough week. I completely underestimated the work I had to do and I kinda waited until the near-last minute. The result: long hours of work at night and minimal amounts of sleep. I am pretty ok with this because I have like two days left to suffer through...plus the work I'm doing is something I actually enjoy.

My finals have been fine, except for sculpture which was kind of a joke. I'm not sure if I passed my Western Music exam but I got to fill out that lovely evaluation, which was only secondary to giving him a nice tongue lashing.

I plan to keep my blog, so I will say "goodbye" by deleting the posts that I feel are arbitrary.

2 reasons why I should have been a dancer.

Akram Khan Company & National Ballet of China
"Bahok"

The Peeping Tom Collective
Le Sous Sol

I am obsessed with movement and strong bodies and the feeling of having so much control. Plus they look like they're having so much fun! I have a slight problem with picking up on choreography, though.

My final performance is moving along. Of course I changed a bunch of things last minute and now I have to tweak all the movements to fit my concept. I got a little lost there for a second. I get kind of worried about whether or not my work is "interesting" or if people will respond to it. I think I've been really careful of not being too reliant on media or repetition to carry my piece. I'm sure that all will go well, if I play things honestly.

Critique week is fucking me up. This whole not having class thing has somehow put in my mind that I'm already on break, making it extremely difficult for me to get on the ball with my million other projects. I've even deviated from the schedule I've layed out for myself and I fear that I might have to conclude this semester with a week of no sleep. I am sooo looking forward to Christmas.